


The Need to Feel Human

by TrashySwitch



Category: jacksepticeye egos - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Fluff, M/M, Reader can choose if it’s Platonic or intimate, References to Depression, Self-Harm, ticklefic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 09:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashySwitch/pseuds/TrashySwitch
Summary: Chase Brody, going through another low in his depression, has recently taken to self harm instead of drinking. Knowing the consequences of such actions, Chase reaches out to Dr. Schneeplestein and gets a lot more than a simple suture and wrap.
Relationships: Chase Brody/Henrik Schneeplestein
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Need to Feel Human

**Author's Note:**

> What’s this? Another story coming out this weekend? Who would’ve predicted such a thing? I certainly didn’t. But, I was suddenly hit with an idea, when I had to do something similar for a close friend of mine. I was the doctor (literally...I brought a stethoscope to school to prove it), and she was the patient. 
> 
> I didn’t have to do any stitching, just a simple dressing of the wound. Who knew that such a bittersweet moment would turn into a bittersweet fanfiction idea? 
> 
> Warning: Depictions of self harm! I have deeply described some of the inner turmoil that comes with cutting! If you are sensitive to this topic, click off now and look for some other fan fictions I’ve written. I have lots of pure, innocent content. Go have fun. And for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy...

Chase wiped the tears from his eyes as he walked through the hallway. He knew he shouldn’t have done it. He knew it was painful. He knew it was wrong. He knew it was risky! But...it helped...it was the only thing that helped him cope. He’s tried everything: medication, meditation, listening to music, writing, exercise, even unhealthy remedies, like alcohol, comfort food and shopping. But the only effective remedy so far, has been self harm. He’s been doing it for months now to stop the crying and make himself feel better. And unfortunately, it works. Every time he sees the blood dripping down from the knife wound, he feels a sense of calm...it’s not happiness, but it’s not numbness or sadness either. Whatever the feeling, it’s relieving. Even seeing the scars from the previous wounds, will remind him of the blood dripping down, and give him the similar relief. It won’t last as long, but it’s a feeling that will make him feel human again. All this numbness and loss of control had gotten to him since his divorce, and cutting open his skin to see the blood trickling down has been the only effective relief. 

The only person he’s told, was Dr. Schneeplestein. The only reason he knew about it was...well...he’s a doctor who checks up on all his patients. Of course he was gonna lift up his shirt sleeves and find his wounds. So, he’s been keeping an eye on the man. Dr. Schneeplestein has been checking up on him daily, to wrap up the new wounds Chase was creating. He has even let Dr. Schneeplestein watch him as he cut open a new wound on his skin. And, he noticed the difference: It helped him. Dr. Schneeplestein described it as a strategy similar to stimming. Autistic kids would do a certain action that would seem out of the norm for most people. Even when people would tell them to “stop”, the child would continue doing it because it calms them in moments of stress and overstimulation. So, instead of telling Chase to stop cutting like most people would, Dr. Schneeplestein would tend to his wounds. He would put Vaseline or Polysporin on the cut, and wrap it in a compression bandage. Since Chase cuts around once every 2 weeks (these numbers would increase depending on the seasonal mood changes), Dr. Schneeplestein would keep a first aid kit on him at all times. Sure, it was stressful. But at this point, Dr. Schneeplestein was all too familiar with the feelings of stress. Unlike Chase, Dr. Schneeplestein knew how to deal with his stress in a healthy manner. He would often listen to really calming music and meditate on his off time. Even so, Dr. Schneeplestein would keep the door open for Chase to come in and interrupt whenever he needed. 

Chase knocked on the door and waited for the doctor’s footsteps. He stood in front of the closed door, holding his cut arm with his blood-covered hand. Soon, the footsteps came and the door opened. Chase’s friend was standing on the other side of the door, smiling and waving for him to come in. Chase followed the doctor’s orders and went inside. As he walked over to the bed to sit down, the door could be heard closing behind him. 

Chase and Henrik had a code word that would represent his cutting habit and his need for medical treatment. 

“Tear and tack?” Henrik asked, saying the code word, which meant ‘Please fix my wound’.

“Tear n’ tack. And, it’s still bleeding.” Chase replied, showing the doctor his arm. 

Dr. Schneeplestein’s smile morphed into a worried frown as he grabbed the arm and examined the wound. 

“It appears you have opened a previous scar.” Dr. Schneeplestein explained, before putting a gauze on the wound and placing pressure on the wound. Chase let out a muffled hiss, and looked away. Dr. Schneeplestein showed an empathetic smile, and looked at him.  
“Did you feel more relief from zhe extra bleeding?” Dr. Schneeplestein asked. 

Chase nodded. “The bleeding wound felt relieving for a lot longer, but my anxiety started to come back when I realized the wound wasn’t clotting. So, I came to you.” Chase explained. 

“It vas a good zhing you did, cause ve don’t van’t you to lose too much blood.” Dr. Schneeplestein replied, adding another gauze on top of the drenched cloth. Chase gave Dr. Schneeplestein an embarrassed crooked smile and watched as the doctor carefully lifted the gauze’s to check the wound’s progress. Noticing the blood was starting to clot, Dr. Schneeplestein covered it back up and smiled. 

“So, vhat caused it zhis time?” Dr. Schneeplestein asked. 

Chase bit his lip. “Depression’s hitting me hard right now.” Chase confessed. Dr. Schneeplestein nodded and checked the wound once more. The wound was getting closer to stopping. Dr. Schneeplestein kept the gauze on the wound with his one hand, and pulled a breathalyzer out of his pocket. 

“Take a deep breath and blow into zhe breathalyzer please.” Dr. Schneeplestein ordered. Chase sighed and took in a big breath. He exhaled all the air into the breathalyzer, and heard a beeping sound. 

“No alcohol. Zhat’s good.” Dr. Schneeplestein said, smiling as he placed the breathalyzer back in his pocket. 

“Not this time. It doesn’t seem to do as much anyway.” Chase explained. Dr. Schneeplestein nodded and checked the wound again. This time, he removed both gauzes and threw them into the wash tub. Then, he pulled a disinfectant wipe, a syringe and a needle and thread out of a drawer. 

“Ready?” Dr. Schneeplestein asked. 

Chase nodded. “Ready.” He replied, pulling his sleeve up further. Dr. Schneeplestein wiped his arm with the disinfectant, and inserted the syringe into the skin. Chase watched the whole thing, and didn’t even flinch. Chase had gotten so used to the physical pain from his remedy, that he doesn’t even react to needles anymore. Once the local anesthetic was inserted, the needle had been removed and he waited for the numbness to take place. 

“Why are you even numbing the pain for me? If I can handle the pain of a knife wound, then I can handle the pain of some needles.” Chase asked, watching the doctor put a new pair of gloves on. 

“Because it makes me feel better. I vant zhis process to be painless for you.” Dr. Schneeplestein replied, picking up the needle and thread with a pair of forceps. 

“But...you’re just wasting medicine that could be used on a person who needs It.” Chase argued. 

“Zhe person that needs zhis most right now, is you and only you.” Dr. Schneeplestein defended calmly, as he felt the wound and started clamping it shut with his fingers. 

Chase appreciated the attempt, but he struggled to believe him. However, Chase didn’t want to think about that anymore. Instead, he focused on the needle as it went through the first layer of skin. Dr. Schneeplestein used the forceps to lead the needle into the other side of the split wound, and circled around to the first side again. He stitched the wound overcast style from the bottom of the wound to the top. 

Chase watched as the doctor worked very quietly, and precisely. Chase was absolutely fascinated with watching doctors work, especially a professional man like Henrik. He looked so focused in his work, never looking away for a second, to risk making a mistake. It was mesmerizing. Not only were his eyes so mesmerizing, but his hands as well. They were steady and precise, creating every stitch slowly and carefully. Any shaking that came over the man’s hands would be controlled by Schneeplestein’s willpower. Chase had become hypnotized by this beautiful sight in front of him: this hardworking, well collected man who’s helped him so many times. Chase had lost count of how many stitches and wraps were used on him. He could easily count the scars on his arm to get an estimate, but he’s forgotten which scars were stitched, and which scars were only wrapped and left to heal on their own. 

“Fertig.” Dr. Schneeplestein muttered, pulling Chase from his thoughts. Dr. Schneeplestein cut the tied thread with a pair of scissors and placed the equipment down.

“Finished, you mean?” Chase asked, recognizing the German word and translating it on his own.

“...heheh, Yea.” Schneeplestein replied awkwardly, as he placed Vaseline on the stitched wound. He placed a sterile wound dressing onto the stitched cut and stepped back to admire his handiwork. 

“Thank you.” Chase said nicely as he pulled his sleeves down. 

“You’re velcome. You know, zhere are ozher vays of experiencing zhe feeling of being human.” Henrik explained. 

“Uh...Like what?” Chase asked. 

“Like, looking after a pet. I can bring home a dog or a cat for you to care for.” Dr. Schneeplestein suggested. 

Chase smiled sadly. “I would love to have a dog, but I’d need permission from the others. Plus, how can I look after a dog if I can’t even look after myself properly?” Chase explained. 

“I guess zhe former point is true...” the doctor mumbled. “Vhat about an emotional movie?” Dr. Schneeplestein suggested. 

Chase thought about it. “...Maybe...I might try that. Do you know of any cute movies?” Chase asked. Dr. Schneeplestein pulled out his phone and searched up the suggestion. He read the list that came up. 

Henrik let out a little laugh. “Most of zhese are either teen movies or animated kids movies.” He explained. “Zhere’s Finding Dory-“ 

“Seen it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.” Chase interrupted. 

“Okay...Bolt?” Henrik suggested. 

“Hm...never heard of it.” Chase replied. 

“It’s about a white dog named Bolt, his owner Penny, a cat named Mittens, and a hamster named Rhino...” Henrik explained. 

“Huh...I’ll consider it.” Chase said, creating a list of movie recommendations on his phone. 

“Dumbo...” Henrik read. 

“That was a WEIRD movie! The scenes were either confusing, sad or both!” Chase reacted. 

“Oh...okay. Nevermind zhen. Uh...Wall-E! I forgot about zhat vone!” Henrik reacted. 

“Me too. That was a cute one, with some heavy topics. I’ll add that one.” Chase said, adding it to his list. 

“Zhe Peanuts Movie-“ 

“Seen it, love it. I’m adding that one.” Chase said. 

“Ponyo? Haven’t seen zhat vone before.” Henrik suggested. 

“Me neither.” Chase mentioned. 

“It’s about a goldfish princess named Ponyo, who falls in love vizh a human boy named Sōsuke, and vants to become a human girl.” Henrik reads aloud. 

“Sounds like a rip-off of The Little Mermaid.” Chase muttered. 

“If you couldn’t tell from zhe names, zhis is a Japanese anime.” Henrik explained. Chase nodded and decided to add that to his list. 

“Vhy did you ask for cute movies? Zhat is an odd suggestion from somevone like you.” Henrik asked. 

“Because I wanna feel more comfort and joy. Like, that warm, happy feeling you get when Christmas comes around.” Chase explained. 

🎶Zhat's all I vant vhen Christmas comes to town🎶 Henrik sang before giggling. 

Chase smiled and let a few giggles out as well. Henrik’s smile grew wider. It was like hearing an old piano that had just been refurbished and returned to its former glory! He wanted to hear that laugh more often...if only he knew some jokes...wait...

“Oh! I know just zhe vay to make you feel happy!” Henrik exclaimed. 

Chase sat up with a hopeful smile. “Really? How?” Chase asked. 

“I’ll tell you in a minute.” Henrik reassured and walked over to the bed. “Please get down, and sit on zhis mat instead.” Henrik ordered, pointing to a blue thick mat on the ground. Chase followed the doctor’s orders, and sat down on the mat. 

“Now: before ve start, I vant to ask you somezhing:” Henrik continued, walking behind and sitting down behind the man. He wrapped his arms around him and leaned into Chase’s left ear. “Are you ticklish, by any chance?” Henrik asked, turning his flat hands into claws and digging into Chase’s sides. 

“BAHAAA-hahahahahahaha! Mahahahaybe a lihihihihittle.” Chase replied through his newfound fit of laughter. 

“Vell telling by your reaction, you are. But vhere else are you ticklish besides your sides?” Henrik asked. Chase only continued to laugh and didn’t reply. “Vell...looks like I’ll have to find out for myself, zhen...” Henrik muttered out loud, pretending to be sad. 

Henrik let a big smirk grow onto his lips, as he tried tickling multiple spots at once. With his left hand, he drilled his fingers into Chase’s hip and with his right hand, he played Chase’s ribs like an accordion would play the piano on the side. Chase’s head flew back and landed on Henrik’s shoulder as his laughter fell into cackles. Henrik switched hand positions, from the left hand on his hip and right hand on the ribs, to the right hand on his hip and the left hand playing his ribs. 

“Vhich is vorse? Here?-“ Henrik started, drilling both hands’ fingers into Chase’s hips.  
“Or here?” Henrik asked, digging both hands into Chase’s ribs and playing them. 

“THEHEHEHERE’RE BOHOHOHOHOHOTH BAHAHAHAHAD!” Chase shouted through his laughter, squirming aimlessly.

“How about zhis? How bad is zhis?” Henrik asked, before digging one finger into Chase’s left hip, and the other hand into Chase’s right side. 

Chase’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. Chase let out a loud scream, and fell into hysterical laughter. 

“THAHAHAHAHAHAT’S WOHOHOHOHORSE!” Chase shouted, his squirming becoming more frantic.

“Perhaps I’m going a leetle beet overboard?” Henrik tested the waters. 

“YEHEHEHEHEHEHES!” Chase begged. 

“Okay.” Henrik replied, removing his hands. Chase leaned back and drew in as many breaths as he could. “Sorry about zhat.” Henrik apologized, letting Chase lean onto him. 

“I...It’s alright. I needed that. I haven’t...laughed like that...heheh...in a...long time.” Chase confessed with a wobbly smile. 

“Really?” Henrik reacted in shock. 

“R-Really. But, it felt good.” Chase replied. 

Henrik smiled. “So, you like being tickled?” Henrik asked. 

“I...I guess so...ya...I do- Hehehehey!” Chase said, before melting into a puddle of giggles. 

“Vell in zhat case, let zhe much needed tickles continue!” Henrik proclaimed, playing his ribs lightly with his fingers. “I vonder: how’s your neck?” Henrik thought aloud, before fluttering a few fingers on the side of Chase’s neck. 

“EEEEEHehehehehehehe! Nuuuuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!” Chase cooed adorably through his high-pitched giggles. 

“Awwww! Zhat vas adorable!” Henrik cheered, dancing his fingers on the other side of Chase’s neck. Chase scrunched his shoulders and threw his head back as his giggles rose up an entire octave. 

“Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle!” Henrik sing-songed as he wiggled a few of his fingers onto his tummy. 

“GAAAHahahahahaha! Hehehehenrihihihik!” Chase called through his laughter, squirming back and forth. 

“Vhaaaaat? Am I getting too close to zhat belly button of yours?” Henrik teased, wiggling one of his fingers slowly towards the middle of the belly. “Vhat kind of belly button do you have? An extended navel? Or a deep navel? Is it circular or oval shaped? Deep or shallow? I’m begging to know.” Henrik questioned curiously as he got closer and closer. 

He had already known that Chase couldn’t answer through his laughter. He knew that this was really embarrassing for him. He knew this was driving Chase nuts! And yet, he didn’t regret it one bit. All of this teasing was purposeful. It was all part of his plan to wreck him in a loving way. The truth was, Henrik had a soft spot for this adorable man. Chase was like a 8 year old child, stuck in an adult’s body. He loved bonding with him, especially this type of bonding. Even though the laughter was forced by tweaking certain spots, it still created the release of dopamine that Chase needed to go on with his life. Though it’s only a temporary solution (until he gets medication that increases his mood for a lot longer), it seems to be helping him more than he thought. 

Finally, Henrik stopped his fingers, right above his navel. He gave the navel a little poke and light scratch, which caused a few squeals and squirms to leave Chase’s mouth. Through poking his navel, Henrik had also discovered the type of navel Chase has: a deep, oval shaped navel. Henrik was ready to do what he had been waiting so long for! He put his index finger into Chase’s navel, and swirled around inside. 

Chase threw his head back and let the dam burst right open. “EEEEAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TOO MUCH! TOOOHOHOHO MUHUHUHUHUCH!” Chase shouted through his loud, hysterical laughter. 

“Goodness gracious! I’m barely even touching you, and ZHIS is how you react? I zhink zhis might be your vorst spot yet!” Henrik exclaimed. 

Chase laughed his heart out and squirmed uncontrollably. Despite his inability to make words through his laughter, he still tried to get away from the single finger teasing at his navel. However, this proved to be pointless, as the pesky finger would only follow along to whichever side he squirmed to! It was Adrenalin-raising! No, energizing! Wait! electrifying! That’s the word! Electrifying! In a good way, as well. It made him feel happy, comforted, and filled with energy again! And boy, it has been so long since he’s had enough energy for anything nowadays. 

As much as he was enjoying this, his adrenaline rush was starting to fade into exhaustion. Instead of fighting the laughter that drowned out his words, he tapped his hands on the doctor’s arm, similarly to how a wrestler would tap out when he was ready for mercy. 

“You need a break? But I vas yust getting started...” Dr. Schneeplestein whined as he pouted, but let up. 

Henrik removed his hands and used them to balance himself, as he let Chase lean against him and breath. Chase’s breathing was deep and fast at first, but eventually started slowing down. Henrik could feel every breath from Chase’s back, against his chest. It felt nice to be in this position. He could tell Chase trusted him. If he hadn’t trusted Henrik by now, Chase would’ve moved away from him and breathed on his own. But instead, Chase was laying against Henrik with a relaxed smile on his face. Henrik allowed himself to enjoy the moment. To him, the moment reminded him of the calm feeling a person would feel while holding a sleeping baby. Only, this baby was a lot bigger and heavier. But the feeling was the same, nonetheless. 

“Thank you...Dr. Schneeplestein.” Chase said, slightly slurred from tiredness. 

Henrik smiled at the slurring speech. “Feel free to call me Henrik.” the doctor replied calmly, showing some love by reaching his right hand up to Chase’s shoulder and rubbing it. Chase responded to the gesture by moving his left hand up, and placing it on top of Henrik’s. Together, the two of them sat there in the comfort of each other’s arms, embracing the feeling of being close, calm and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want more of this, feel free to comment! I will gladly write more of this in the near future.


End file.
